Exploring Anal Pleasure: A Beginner's Guide
Firstly let’s make one thing clear. Being a man (or someone who identifies as male) and liking anal play does not make you gay. Liking a toy in your ass does not mean you want a mans penis in it.
The male pleasure centre, the prostate, is in the ass. It feels good, it’s pleasurable, and there is nothing wrong with exploring it. Exploring your body and your sexuality are two different things. The prostate is the pleasure centre, it is just the same as the female G spot, just located in a different spot.
The prostate is a small walnut sized gland located below the bladder and in front of the rectum, it plays a role in producing seminal fluid. When you are massaging the prostate it feels similar to your fingerprint, a bit rough and the more you press on it, it swells. It is usually easier to find and massage when then penis is erected. Science has told us that prostate orgasms are thought to be more intense than penile orgasms. You can even stimulate the prostate through the perineum from the outside, and some people can orgasm purely from that.
The prostate is made up of nerve endings, all connecting to the penis. It’s possible to have a penile and prostate orgasm at the same time, penile orgasm are associated with 4-8 pelvic contractions while prostate orgasms are associated with 12.
So, how does anal play work?
Firstly, here are some main tips for anal play:
— GO SLOW!
It is important to not rush anal play, especially when you are a newbie. The anus is a muscle and like any muscle it must be trained, stretched, slowly to avoid pain and tearing. You want to build it up, go slow. Anal play takes time.
— Use lots of lube!
Silicone lube, Pjur or J-Lube is my brand of choice, is the best kind for anal play. The anus does not self lubricate so for the best experience you need to add lots of lube, continuously as lube can dry out. But silicone lube is more sticky and works the best for anal play.
— Wear gloves - trim your nails.
Wearing latex or nitrile gloves, you can also cover your fingers in a condom in a pinch, helps to make sure you don’t scratch someone internally when doing anal play. Remember, the inside of the anus is a delicate thin membrane.
— Pain and anal play:
A feeling of stretching or “like you’re shitting in reverse” is normal when exploring anal play, the muscles are stretching in a way they are not accustomed to. When pressing on the prostate gland it can also create a sensation of needing to pee, this is normal. Many people report feeling like they are going to “poop” yet they don’t. But a sharp, deep stabbing pain, or anything like that is not normal and either a sign you’ve gone too rough, too fast, not stretched enough or used enough lube, or scratched someone internally.
— You go where shit lives, shit will come:
A common concern people have when exploring anal play is getting messy, getting poop on people. Look, the fact you need to get comfortable with is, if you go where shit lives, it’s gonna come out. There are ways to circumvent this, but even then, it may occur. Douching is at the discretion of clients, I just ask they are clean when they arrive.
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So, what kinds of anal play is there?
Anal play is made up of a range of different acts and ways to play, these include:
— Rimming:
Rimming includes using the lips, tongue, around and inside the anus. This can feel good and sensual and can be done to all genders. Always keep in mind when rimming a vagina haver to not go “ass to vagina” as this can cause thrush in women. Ass eating is fun but keep to the one area! This can be paired with face sitting/queening for a dominating experience.
— Prostate massage/milking:
Prostate massage is done by inserting fingers into the anus and curving upwards to locate the prostate and slowly massaging and stimulating the prostate. This can be done while giving a handjob, blowjob, or other fetish experiences are being done. This increases sensations to all those nerve endings and can lead to intense orgasms and pleasure. Prostate massage or milking can be done in combination with edging and orgasm torture to really build sensation and levels of pleasure.
— Anal Play - Fingers:
When starting an anal play booking we start with fingers, this can be done mixed with a prostate massage/stimulation. Fingers are inserted circling, curving upward to press on the prostate, stretching, sliding in and out. This is a good first step to anal play to loosen the muscles and increase the pleasurable sensations. Once you get into the groove of it, usually muscles loosen enough to allow more fingers or toys. Everyone is different, some peoples muscles loosen easily, some don’t. It helps to breathe in and out slowly and work on relaxing yourself.
— Toys:
Usually the next step of anal play can be using toys. I have toys of all different sizes, from small to big and thick. Usually we start small and build up to what the body can handle. Going from 0 to a large toy usually fatigues the body and can lead to pain etc, which ends playtime faster than we may wish. Some people enjoy thick short anal toys and want a stretching, gaping, feeling. Some people prefer thin long toys and enjoy the sliding in and out deepness of that kind of sensation. Everyone is different. It is very important to only use body safe flared base toys in the anus, it is very common for the ass to “suck” up toys and for things to get lost, you don’t want that to happen! Use condoms on your toys for hygiene.
— Fisting:
Fisting is a part of anal play that even experience anal players may not decide to explore and is in the more intense category. Fisting gives a stretching deep feeling and takes time. Sometimes even if someone is an experienced player but hasn’t kept up with their anal training or played in a while or just are off that day, it may not happen. People have different sized hands. Fisting is very fun but requires the slow and steady approach to achieve and should not be rushed.
— Pegging:
Pegging is a part of anal play some people may want and others may not. Pegging is when the non penis haver or cis female partner wears a strap on harness with a dildo and penetrates the male. This can be a sensual sexual act or a degrading kinky act to dominate the one being penetrated. Pegging is fun and can attract intense orgasms, leaving the penis free to be played with.
So, now you know how the anatomy works, the safety and basics of anal play. Are you ready to explore?
Get in touch with Rain now to explore!
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